GLITTERBALMS
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GLITTERBALMS

Price: $10.00
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GLITTERBALMS! Despite the name, they're not really balms and they don't have any actual glitter in them. What they are: fun solid perfumes with approximately three times the scent concentrations of Balmshells. Select your fragrance, pick a sparkle color (or none!), and you'll get a custom-mixed Glitterbalm in a handy (and adorable!) little round .5oz tin. Hooray!

"So is this like real perfume?" Speaking as a raging snob, no, I wouldn't classify them as such. Glitterbalms and Balmshells are made with essential oils and fragrance oils. They won't have the kind of sillage and longevity you'd find in a hundred-dollar bottle of eau de parfum from your favorite couture house, which use much more heavily-refined and concentrated (and expensive) ingredients. But they DO make a great little scent-based pick-me-up, with a nice punch of fragrance in an unspillable/non-leaky package that's easy to toss in a pocket or purse. Hooray!

"What are the sparkles?" Very fine shimmer bits in the color of your choice! Or no sparkles, if you prefer. These aren't like highlighters or even like most body glitters -- they'll only deposit a small amount of bitsy spangles to catch the light and look Slightly Fancy. Hooray!

THE SCENTS : Glitterbalms have custom-blended fragrances evocative of some of my favorite fictional ass-kickers. They are, in approximate order of "most traditionally feminine" to "pretty unisex" to "more traditionally masculine" (which are my own personal favorites) :

ZOË : Nicely balanced cedar and violet. Staunch, steadfast, but also kinda sweet and soft (and maybe a little bit slinky).

SCULLY : A true and heady incense, with champa, frankincense, a little patchouli, bit of pine. Champa dominates, making this one quite perfumey.

RIVER : Water notes and, of course, gunpowder. Like a mysterious forest stream with a high probability of impending violence.

BOBBIE : Fresh greenery, vetiver, hint of coconut, and a whiff of mechanical lubricant from your Goliath power armor.

LEIA : Sharp, cool, definitely headstrong, and a little tart. Contains notes of fresh snow, grapefruit, pepper, and evergreens.

ELEVEN : Cool autumn woods, dirt, and sea salt. Very fresh, surprisingly powerful, maaaaybe psychokinetic.

ROLAND : Black tea, black pepper, smoke. The scent of 19th century British colonialism ("give us your tea and spices or we'll burn your shit down").

RIPLEY : Oud, lime, fir, campfire. Peaty, smoky, slightly spicy, slightly sour. Smells like taking a flamethrower to a bunch of very exotic (alien?) biomass.

BRIENNE : Brisk and bracing winter woods, with a mix of mahogany, juniper, cedar, and fir. Cold and green, but also strong and forthright and earthy.

LANA : “WHAT?” Gunpowder and suede. Is it amazing and quite unisex? “YUUUUUUP.” Is it only for people with massive hands? “NOOOOOOPE.”

STARBUCK : Old leather jacket and a hint of cigar. What else could it possibly be? This one's probably my second favorite after Roland. Okay, and Ripley.

Intrigued, but not sure whether you'd like a particular scent? Teeny little samples of the same scents in Balmshells format are available in teeny little plastic bags -- just note in the comments at checkout which ones you'd like to try!